At the beginning of March, most seniors have already figured out their plans for the upcoming school year. Most are going on to community colleges or four-year universities. After deciding on the perfect school, the next hardest decision is picking out the perfect roommate.
Most universities have some kind of website designed to help students, specifically freshmen, pick out their roommates. Of course, in the perfect situation you’re going to find a roommate, become fast best friends, and share all your clothes. But in reality, most freshmen only tolerate their first roommate.
For those few freshmen that end up being so lucky, they should be glad to have found such a good person to live with for nine months.
Harlan Cohen, author of Naked Roommate and host of NakedRoommate.com, a website for college students who are having roommate issues, has a few helpful hints on how to handle some common bad roommate situations.
If your roommate is just completely anti-social, Cohen says, “It’s very nice of you to want to help, but it’s not your responsibility. You can invite her/him out and include her/him in things, but you need to give permission for her/him to be her/himself.” Eventually, you will take the hint and find friends outside of your room.
If you suspect your roommate is using your things that you agreed not to share, you should approach the problem from a compassionate point of view and assume your roommate was just confused.
So what’s the best way out of a standoff between two roommates who were friends and are now ignoring each other because of an unresolved issue? Harlan says, “Friends should endure conflict. If you can’t talk about what’s going on, maybe this person is not that good of a friend. Some friends should never live together. A friend and a roommate are two different things. If you are living with a friend, there’s a chance you may lose that friend.” Just try to work it out, and if it doesn’t work, you can always switch roommates.
If your roommate brings his/her boyfriend/girlfriend into the room so often that it’s basically his/her home too, Cohen says you should tell him/her that you’re not used to having people in the room and it makes you uncomfortable. However, it is your roommate’s room too, and he/she is allowed to have people over sometimes. In those cases, simply find somewhere else to hang out at like a lounge, the quad, or the library.
Lastly, if your roommate wants to include you in everything and never gives you breathing room, Cohen says to set boundaries. He also suggests investing in a good pair of headphones, so you can have your privacy. Even if you aren’t playing any music, your roommate will not be tempted to talk to you.
Good luck to all the seniors, especially the ones who are going on to college next year. Have fun getting to know your roommate as well as lots of other people and try to get along with everybody.