Winter is one cold season, but most people enjoy it because of Christmas. I love Christmas and I look forward to it every year, but what I don’t like what comes with it, and that is Christmas music. I love Christmas music…a week before Christmas, not a month! I get in my car every day and turn on the radio to find Christmas music all over each station. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas music, and if nothing else is on its fun to reword the lyrics!
“Deck the Halls”:
“Deck the halls with nothing jolly! Fa la la la la la la la la. Tis the season to be a collie, Fa la la la la la la la la! Trolls with chase you round the tree! Fa la la la la la la la la! They will give you some dog fleas! Fa la la la la la la la la!”
“I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus”:
“I saw your mother kissing my shoe, under my bed last night. She was a major creep who didn’t make a peep when she smelled my feet, when she thought I was asleep.
I saw your mother kissing a hobo; she didn’t even care about his robe, oh! I saw your mother licking ice cream, off of the living room floor! It was only for a second but if granny was there she would be out the door!”
“12 Days of Christmas”:
“On the 1st day of Christmas my mother gave to me: a dog named Murphy.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my dad gave to me: 2 chocolate bunnies and a dog named Murphy.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my brother gave to me: 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named Murphy.
On the 4th day of Christmas another brother gave to me: 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named Murphy.
On the 5th day of Christmas my last brother gave to me: 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named Murphy.
On the 6th day of Christmas my grandma gave to me: 6 books for burning, 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named Murphy.
On the 7th day of Christmas my grandpa gave to me: 7 fish to skin, 6 books for burning, 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named Murphy.
On the 8th day of Christmas my sister gave to me: 8 poisoned cookies,7 fish to skin, 6 books for burning, 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies and a dog named Murphy.
On the 9th day of Christmas my other sister gave to me: 9 hard punches, 8 poisoned cookies, 7 fish to skin, 6 books for burning, 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, a dog named Murphy.
On the 10th day of Christmas my cat gave to me: 10 wet hair balls, 9 hard punches, 8 poisoned cookies, 7 fish to skin, 6 books for burning, 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named Murphy.
On the 11th day of Christmas my best-friend gave to me: 11 hectic turtles, 10 wet hair balls, 9 hard punches, 8 poisoned cookies, 7 fish to skin, 6 books for burning, 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named Murphy!
On the 12th day of Christmas Santa gave to me: 12 dorky reindeer, 11 hectic turtle, 10 wet hair balls, 9 hard punches, 8 poisoned cookies, 7 fish to skin, 6 books for burning, 5 dirty socks, 4 heavy rocks, 3 painful swirlies, 2 chocolate bunnies, and a dog named MURPHY!”
I hope that made you laugh and maybe you can come up with a few of your own! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!