I’m a senior living through the pandemic. Growing up, I was so excited to go to high school. My sisters are both older than me, so I thought I knew what I was expecting. I was looking forward to school dances, the school trips, and the sophomore decades project. I was so excited for the sophomore year decades project that I started collecting clothes months in advance. None of those things ended up happening due to covid. I grew up romanticizing high school. Coming of age movies are my guilty pleasure. They made me happy and excited for the future. I thought I knew what to expect and thought I was going to feel so grown up. I feel like I am still a twelve year old. Anytime I drive I feel like I should not be able to. I have missed out on so many important parts of high school that feeling like a senior is extremely hard to do. 

I just recently decided on a college. I am going to Missouri State in the fall; however, I thought I was going to know by the beginning of my senior year. I thought I would know what I would want to do with my life; however, I couldn’t know any less! I have interests in things, but its hard to imagine me wanting to do something for my entire life. I feel like I am having a quarter life crisis, and I can’t figure out what I want to do. 

All of the things I’m complaining about are small things in the span of my life. I know that, but I feel like it shouldn’t take away the emotions that have come out caused by the pandemic. I wish things would go back to normal, but I know that is not possible. I like to think about how when I am old and gray, I can tell my grandchildren about how I lived through the pandemic of 2020.